September 2008

I’ve had many ‘aha’ and self-congratulatory moments through coaching myself using self development workbooks.  I refer to this as ‘Self-Coaching’.

Self-Coaching yourself in this way is great if you’re:

1. Shy;

2. Too busy for one-on-one coaching;

3. Someone who doesn’t like to go out much;

4. Trying to keep limiting beliefs to yourself;

5. Not ready to be coached by anyone else; and

6. Working on your own personal development without anyone else knowing – that way no-one will be disappointed if you give it up or mess it up.

However to get the most out of this form of coaching you’ll need to be:

1. Committed to creating the change you want;

2. Disciplined;

3. Willing to do whatever it takes to develop yourself, eg spiritual development courses, up-skilling, coaching etc;

4. Aware of when you need outside help. 

Please Note:  From experience, self-coaching will not be enough if there are deeper issues needing to be resolved; and

5. The driver behind the wheel of change – it’s your life; you’re in charge of your destiny.

Self-coaching can help (depending on the severity of the issue) find strategies to apply to:

1. A relationship break-up or make-up;

2. Work related issues;

3. Indecision - something you’ve always dreamed of doing is forever being pushed aside and you need to make a decision;

4. House move – do I stay or do I leave?

5. Itchy feet and wanting to explore and experience a new lifestyle; and

6. Money problems.

A powerful step towards changing what you no longer want into something you really want is by remembering and experiencing what you’d like to change.  Then, as you close the door of the past behind you, aim for and take action to making it happen.

Start by goal-setting the what, why, how of transformation, and when you want it to happen by.

A few more tips if you’re coaching yourself are:

1. Keep a diary or journal and write in it every day of how you worked towards achieving inner change.  You’ll be able to look back and reflect upon your journey, how you did it, the frustrations, obstacles, and triumphs.  It will also give you a sense of achievement, after all you did it.

2. Become aware of how you do things and ask yourself “if you could do this in a better way, how would you do it?”

3. As you coach yourself, at the end of every week summarise what you’ve written and determine what changes you can make easily for the following week.

4. Learn to meditate to give you inner peace as well as clarity not only whilst working with your situation but also to give yourself another self-help tool for your ‘life skill toolkit’.

5. Take up a spiritual development course and increase your intuition.  People use their intuition practically every day without realising it, increasing your intuition can help in all areas of your life.

6. Inform everyone who needs to know that you’ll be offline for however long your self coaching sessions will be.  Once you’ve organised your time, be ruthless and stick to your timetable.  Failing to do this will result in a nasty thing called procrastination to hold you captive!

7. Make a special note of any limiting beliefs you discover about yourself.  For example, maybe you have a hang up around earning an income, or maybe you’re not as confident as you like to believe you are. In this case if you are unable to find solutions to these beliefs it’s time to call upon the services of a transformational coach or other professional (this applies to anything you’re unable to effectively work through).

The success of any ‘Self-Coaching’ program is dependent on two things:

1. Your level of commitment; and

2. The quality and content of the workbook itself.  It must be designed and developed by someone with coaching experience, an understanding of adult learning principles and the ability to encapsulate it all in ‘simple speak’.

Self-coaching has been an excellent ‘self-help’ tool for me over the years and may help you in some way too.

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Using the skills, strategies, and smarts of lawyers, you’ll be able to more effectively coach your employees to optimal performance. Here are 4 great tips to help you give constructive feedback in such a way that you motivate positive and productive performance…

<b> 1. Give evidence of performance to employee. </b> In litigation, prosecutors are required to turn all of their evidence over to the defense. In order to be fair to employees, supervisors need to do the same thing. Tony frequently received disturbing memos from his district manager about his poor performance on sales calls. “You failed to cover the Five Points for Sales Excellence with a customer last month. This is unacceptable.” Tony never received a monitoring sheet spelling out the discrepancies, never heard a tape of a recorded call, and he didn’t even have the opportunity to defend himself because the cowardly manager simply shot her message off in a cold blunt memo.
Giving feedback the way Tony’s district manager does is dangerous. It certainly isn’t motivating Tony to improve.

Moreover, because the manager has provided no proof of the calls - no score sheet, no recording of the call, no date or time, and not even one specific statement about Tony’s alleged ineffectiveness - Tony can’t even defend his performance.
When monitoring and coaching employees, ALWAYS turn over the evidence of the call to them. This evidence may include a recorded call, Mystery Shopper score sheet, detailed notes from customer’s account, etc.
<b> 2. Prepare for employee performance meetings in advance.</b> No attorney would conduct a direct examination or cross examination without thoroughly and carefully pre planning their questions. I always prepare a loose script prior to meeting with employees about problem performance, even though I don’t actually read from my script. Writing the discussion out reinforces it in my mind and allows me to be less concerned with covering all the basis and more concerned with my employee.
<b> 3. Ask open-ended questions. </b>Asking a juror if they are for the death penalty yields a yes or no answer, but asking her how she feels about the death penalty gives the attorney the opportunity to learn more. Just the same, asking your employee if she thought the phone call in question was good will yield a yes or no answer, but asking her how she thought the call went gives her the opportunity to expound. My favorite open-ended coaching questions include: “If you could do this call over again, would you?” “Tell me about that caller.” “Is there anything else about this call/customer that I haven’t asked, but need to know?”
<b> 4. Don’t allow the “Twinkie Defense.”</b> In court, defendants may stand behind a theory of the case called the “Twinkie Defense.” This theory tries to throw the jury off the trail by blaming the client’s bad actions on something else - he ate too many Twinkies, for instance, and was on a sugar high when he killed/robbed/raped/molested and therefore is not responsible for his actions. You may have encountered the Twinkie Defense with your employees: “I was late because traffic was unusually heavy and then when I got here the elevator was broken, therefore my tardiness is not my fault.” Decide that employees will be held accountable for their actions and don’t allow them to hide behind the Twinkie Defense. In response to the Twinkie Defense, you respond with, “This is about individual responsibility - not trying to hide behind excuses.”

Deploy these field-tested and proven strategies and you’ll be coaching employees like a pro!

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Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance available to managers, team leaders, and colleagues.  This article defines coaching and outlines a process for effective coaching.

Coaching Defined

Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance available to managers, team leaders, and colleagues. 

If you wish to improve the skills of your employees, you must plan to observe them and provide them with feedback.  If you’re like most supervisors or managers, you have limited time and are looking for employees to become proficient – and independent – faster.

Entelechy’s Coaching Model is designed to help you do just that!

The Coaching Model is appropriate for developing the skills of employees if the employee is willing to improve.  Coaching should not be used as a softer, gentler version of corrective action; if a performance problem occurs, you will want to use the Problem Solving model.

The Coaching Model is based on several important principles:

1. There are two primary goals to coaching:

• To improve performance.

• To help employees gain the ability to self-assess.

2. It is important that the coaching sessions follow a predictable process.  This will help the coachees feel more comfortable and relaxed, which will help to ensure they actively participate in these sessions.  It is for this reason that we suggest that you share the coaching model with your employees prior to coaching.

3. Coaching is a planned development process and should not be a surprise.

4. The way you open the conversation sets the tone for what will follow.

5. After we open the conversation using our initial probe, we discuss positives first and areas for improvement last.  Beginning with positives first is motivational and accomplishes the following:

• The goal is to have employees increase their performance.  If they are not in a positive frame of mind, they will not be open to this change.

• Reinforces good behavior and ease into the coaching session.

• Builds self-esteem.

6. Ending the coaching session with a discussion of areas for development ensures that they are focusing on those areas.

7. Always give the coachee a chance to self-assess before you offer your insights.  Encouraging self-assessment is positive for several reasons:

• It encourages improvement even when you are not coaching.

• It allows you to determine why the employee may not be performing as desired; they may not know that they’re doing something incorrectly.

• It builds self-esteem.

• It increases the chances that behavior will change.

8. Reinforce correct self-assessment.

9. Defer or redirect inappropriate or incorrect self-assessment.

10. We focus coaching on only two strengths and two areas for development.  Limiting the discussion is important and accomplishes the following:

• Increases the coachee’s ability to reach proficiency.

• Focuses on the most important issues.

• Other issues can be addressed after some progress has been made on the most important issues first.

11. If an employee is not identifying areas that you identified (or has identified them incorrectly), use increasingly specific questions to allow the employee to self-assess if possible.  This allows you to determine if the employee doesn’t know what’s expected, doesn’t have the skill, or simply chooses not to demonstrate the skill.

The Coaching Model at Work

Now let’s turn our attention to Entelechy’s Coaching Model in practice.

Step 1: Open the Conversation

The coach opens the conversation with a general question; this helps the coach get a sense for the accuracy of the coachee’s self-assessment.  If the coachee responds with, “that was the best call ever” and you thought that the call was poor, you know that you’ll have to adjust your coaching conversation.

Step 2: Probe for What Went Well

The coach asks the coachee what went particularly well and listens for the responses.  By identifying what went well first, a positive tone for the coaching session is set.  We want to make sure that the coachee continues doing these things.  This also forces the coachee — NOT THE COACH — to identify superior performance.

Step 2a: Redirect or Defer

Sometimes the coachee will bring up a negative when you’re discussing positives.  You will want to defer that discussion until later in the coaching conversation by saying, “I’d like to talk about that more later.  What else went particularly well?”

Other times, the coachee will claim something as a positive that — in your opinion — was an area that needs development.  You will want to redirect their perception by pointing out what you saw that helped you conclude that it was less than desirable.  “Oh, really?  Did you happen to see John’s face when you discussed the product’s features?  That’s right, he seemed to lose interest when you started talking about us rather than about him….”

Step 2b: Support and Build

When the coachee correctly assesses his performance — both strengths and areas for development — support the assessment by saying, “I agree.”  Build from their conclusions to reinforce the accuracy of their self-assessment.  In this way, you are reinforcing one of the most valuable skills anyone can acquire: the ability to assess and improve their own performance.

Step 3: Probe for Areas for Development

The third step is to ask the coachee what he would change if he could do it again.  Obviously, if the coachee knows what could be improved and knows how to improve it, he won’t benefit from YOU telling him!  And by mentally rehearsing what he will do differently, the likelihood of him actually carrying out the improvement is increased.

Most experts agree that two or three areas for development are enough for anyone to work on.  Working on a laundry list of things to change is frustrating and futile.  Focus on the areas of greatest need.

When identifying areas for development, the coachee may not have identified the one that you thought was most important.  Again, you can redirect their perception by identifying what you saw that they might not have that allowed you to come to your conclusion.  “I agree that the two areas that you identified would definitely had made the call go better.  What do you think the effect of your product feature presentation was on the customer?  Why?  What might you do differently the next time…?”

Step 4: Summarize and Support

Even though you may have limited the coaching to a few strengths and a couple areas for development, you will want to briefly summarize the discussion, especially what the coachee will do differently the next time.  This recap will cause the most important things to remain fresh in memory.  You will also want to support the changes by saying something like, “I think those changes will make your next call go even better.”

Follow these four steps to help your employees and colleagues increase their performance.

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Coaching can cover many different areas from sport to business and it is essential that you make yourself aware of coaching in general before you get involved in a single area. If you joined a sport in grade school you had a coach explain to you the rules and the best strategy to use to help win the game. In high school you had this same advantage, but once you reach the grown up world you may think you don’t have this advantage anymore. This is not always true, there are coaches out there to help you be the best you possibly and this also applies to the business world as well.

Over the years companies have realized that using coaches in the business world can make a big difference in their corporation. Coaches in the business world can really help, for example if you are an employee trying to get a head it can give you an advantage over other employees. If you are a supervisor who hires a coach for the employee you may be giving your company an advantage over other companies. Whichever way fits your needs it is a fact coaching can make an impact in the world of industry.

Just because an offer from a coach sounds good, in reality it may not be the right one for you; therefore you need to be sure and check out all the information given to you before accepting an offer. Don?t accept the first offer that come to you, check out several choices, compare, and then choose. You are searching for a coach that can offer you the most help in the areas of business that you are concerned with, along with someone with a good reputation of proving themselves as an excellent coach.

Accessing the web to look for a coach that would be right for you is probably the best way to find one. You are looking for a coach that makes you feel comfortable and relaxed; after all you do have to pay for their services. You cannot find a coach that will be perfect in every area, but you can come real close by searching online. Keep in mind that hiring a coach that comes as close to what you need, will benefit you the most.

When you have chosen a coach and they have started to work for you, they will be able to see things that you may have overlooked. Because of this you may have to make some changes that you don?t feel comfortable with or don?t really understand. This is why it is important for you to trust the coach and let them make some changes to improve your business. A great coach will show you what can be accomplished in the future, by making changes now; you may have choices you never knew existed before.

After you have gotten rid of some old habits and found newer better ones to use, you may find that you can accomplish anything you set out to do. Having a good coach will definitely help you to achieve this, even though it may seem hard at first letting another person tell you how to run your business.

Many employees seem to accomplish more if they have a coach assisting them along the way; this is one good reason for an employer to hire a coach. Sometimes the employer may want to hire a coach to help them advance their skills of management even further than they already have. Whatever the reason for hiring a coach, either for the employer or the employee, the company will benefit from the added contribution. If you are employed at a company that does not provide a coach, you can always hire your own to help you improve and advance your career.

After researching and finding the coach you feel is best for your company, you may want to use that same coach for yourself. This is why it may be a good idea to find one that is also qualified in the area of management. You can review a first hand evaluation of the coach?s ability, and know if he can improve your skills, helping you to accomplish your goals. Now that you are aware of the basics of coaching you can now proceed with ease into the are that most interests you.

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Who can forget the famous line of Peter Parker (Spiderman’s grandfather)?  He said, “With great power comes great responsibility.”

Society expects Spiderman – a comic book, TV and movie superhero with extraordinary powers – to be responsible for saving his town and the world from the forces of Evil.  And he never let us down. Despite the temptations of owning such powers, he uses his abilities only for the good of the people around him.

Being a coach has similar parallels.  They don’t have superhuman powers such as x-ray vision or flying through the air with magic “sticky ropes”.  But great coaches can have real power through their abilities to help others – and with it, the responsibility – to guide others towards success.  This is REAL power that can be used to help real people in THIS world.  Done well, coaches can help others turn around their lives.  Done wrong, and a coach could guide a client down the wrong path.

So, with this power to coach your clients towards manifesting their personal and/or business vision comes responsibilities.  Great coaches assume them all as part of the professional responsibility. This can include everything from making sure your client is moving in the right direction, getting them back on course when they are not, and developing and tracking their use of exercises to help them along the way.

There are a few things you can do to be a more responsible coach.  Just as important, these same skills can be imparted to your clients to help them lead more responsible, integrity-filled lives.

How to Bring out the more Responsible “You” in Yourself and your Client

#1 - Develop self-awareness. 
Learn and know your own strengths and weaknesses to be able to view your behavior objectively.  Recognize your shortcomings, receive feedback, and make changes when necessary.  The more self-aware you become of all your aspects, the more you will know what kind of clients you can coach best and – just as important – those best referred to others.

Dr. Gerard Bell, business consultant and professor at the University of North Carolina in
Chapel Hill, advises us on how to expand our self-knowledge.  He said, “Study yourself closely and practice self-assessment techniques to learn how you behave, and the effects you have on others.  As others for their option, feedback, and suggestions to become a better coach.”
The lesson is simple: the more we grow, the more we can offer, and the more we can help others.

#2: Learn to Separate Responsibility from Worry
When we hear the word “responsibility”, we often think to ourselves, “Another task, another problem.”  However, responsibility is not about worrying over things give to us to work out.  Consider this story:

One night at the end of the second shift, the Head of Operations walked out of the plant he managed and passed a porter.  A porter he passed said, “Mr. Smith, I sure wish I had your pay.  But I wouldn’t want the worry that goes with it.”

Mr. Smith answered, “I give the best I can when I am here.  But I drop the worry when I leave so I can be 100% with my family when I’m at home.”

You, too, can learn to give your best to challenging work, but then “leave it at the door” when you’re off-hours.  Worrying accomplishes nothing except to eat away at us, and actually ends up making us less effective!  Don’t let worry taint your clarity of judgment and ability to take decisive action.  You can learn this as you grow.

Carrying the responsibility of coaching should not intimidate you.  It is the ability to help others that coaching is all about.  Embrace the responsibilities that come with it.

Nothing is gained by worrying about whether your clients achieve their goals or not.  Focus on supporting and inspiring them.  Be their partner in their growth.  Brainstorm with them when it is called for.  But ultimately, it is your client’s responsibility to assume responsibility for accomplishing their goals.  You merely help them see and achieve this state.

#3: Take Calculated Risks and Learn from Your Mistakes

Effective coaches have the courage to ask their clients to take risks when results and success are uncertain.  A willing ness to risk failure is a core attribute of all successful people.

As a coach you can help your clients work with risk and possible failure.  Help them learn to analyze their situation and options.  Work with them to list the pros and cons for each option, then assign each choice a risk factor rating from 1 to 5.  Next, have them determine the likelihood of each occurring.  This will help them quantify and manage the risk-taking process. 
Also, lead them to a better paradigm regarding failure.  What is failure other than great feedback that our current course of action isn’t the right path?  Use this information for course correction.  Failure doesn’t happen until we give up.  If you don’t give up, then failure isn’t an option. 

#4: Own and admit our mistakes
Our greatest lessons and growth come through our mistakes. Everyone makes them; it is part of life.  Help your client understand this, and they will be able to draw the necessary lessons and take corrective action.  If we do the “blame game”, we don’t even take the first step (ownership) in this process.

Not only does owning our mistakes and failures help us to be more truthful and powerful in our own lives.  Owning and assuming responsibility for them lets others see the integrity and virtue within us, and hence further gain their respect.

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